#23 of Things I Can Learn to Love: Baby Sloths

Basically my girlfriend was taking about wanting a pet  and since she’s one of a kind she would definitely want a unusual animal. Naturally Kangaroos, Pandas, and Pygmy Hippos were out for obvious reasons. I mean, seriously who is going to keep a hippo in their house?

Billy” and Calvin

 Okay, other then Calvin Coolidge….

Anyway, she decided that owning a sloth would be a wonderful idea. Instantly my brain supplied me with the already acquired knowledge of the animal. It’s diet, slow habits, and lastly the smelly mess it makes…

And so the answer was a emphatic “No!”

But she didn’t give up.  So I went in search of more reasons why not, and instantaneously fell in love, again… well, with the baby sloths.

 You see, I’d never really seen one or looked at one for long enough to say  ”Sloths are awesome! ” or “Sloths are *insert funny sounding adjective here* “.

And now I’m so glad she didn’t give up. I mean, have you SEEN how cute these things are?!

                                                                                                                                    – Murphy

*NSFW* It’s a Laaaate night

 

TREE, YOU ARE DRUNK. YOU NEED TO LEAF

STEVE, THAT IS DISCRIMIATION. WHO ARE YOU TO DECIDE WHERE TREE DOES AND DOES NOT BELONG? DON’T LISTEN TO HIM TREE. FOLLOW YOUR HEART, AND GO WHEREVER YOU WANT TO GO. DON’T LET CLOSE-MINDED ASSHOLES BRING YOU DOWN.

WAIT. HOLD THE FUCK UP. WHY THE FUCK IS HIS SHIRT NOT GREEN STRIPED? STEVE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF.

STEVE WHERE IS YOUR NORMAL ATTIRE? YOU’RE DRUNK STEVE. YOU’RE SEEING FUCKING TREES IN YOUR HOUSE. YOU’RE LOSING IT STEVE; YOU’RE LOSING IT.

DON’T LISTEN TO THEM STEVE, YOU ARE A WONDERFUL UNIQUE HUMAN BEING WHO DOESN’T NEED A STRIPED SHIRT TO BE BEAUTIFUL. STEVE, YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY.

Look at Blue just standing there like a dumb ass, watching his family being torn apart and not saying shit. Steve is losing his fucking mind and Blue is just fucking STANDING THERE. Stupid bitch.

WHO THE FUCK LEFT THE WINDOW OPEN? THAT’S PROBABLY HOW THE TREE GOT IN HERE, C’MON STEVE.

MAYBE YOU DON’T BELONG THERE STEVE! STOP BREAKING INTO TREE’S HOUSES

WHO ARE YOU TO SAY ANYTHING BELONGS ANYWHERE? YOU’RE NOT GOD, STEVE. COME ON. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

Reblog if you are against Tree discrimination. It has gone too far and society has reached a point where children are taught that innocent, law abiding trees dont belong. This is sick, Steve, sick.

EVERYBODY NEEDS TO GET OF STEVE’S BACK. ALL OF THESE ILLEGAL ALIEN TREES COMING THROUGH THE BORDERS AND TAKING ALL OF THE WORK LEFT HIM WITHOUT A JOB. OBVIOUSLY HE CAN’T AFFORD HIS REGULAR GREEN-STRIPED SHIRTS. AND THEN THE FUCKING TREE JUST HAS TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, BREAKING INTO STEVE’S HOUSE AND MOCKING HIM WITH ITS GREENNESS. IT’S NOT EASY BEING GREEN? NO. NO, IT’S NOT EASY BEING STEVE.

Look at Blue just sitting there. She is witnessing discrimination of that poor tree and is doing nothing. Doing nothing is encouraging Steve to continue insulting that tree. We don’t know anything about that tree. It could have been molested as a child or lives in poverty. If you witness bullying, speak up.

Leave Blue alone. She’s only a dog. She gets discriminated just as much as that tree does. Haven’t you ever seen Peanuts? Poor Snoopy can’t go anywhere, so what is Blue supposed to do. And that tree was born there! We need to stop discrimination against this kind of stuff. Trees aren’t allowed in our homes and dogs aren’t allowed in our libraries, what kind of world do we live in? Blue you can go wherever you want! Tree you can do whatever you want! Be where you want tree and Blue. And Steve, trip on acid as much as you like, just don’t get caught, because then you’ll be replaced by your stupid brother!